Review: How To Be A Sex Goddess in 101 Easy Steps

I requested Dr. Annie Sprinkle’s How to Be A Sex Goddess in 101 Easy Steps from Eden Fantasys to review because I recently decided I’m more of a Goddess than a Dom/Domme.  I had read over the other review for it that was up at the time and it rated it decently, so I figured it wouldn’t be all bad… Let’s just say even Goddess can be wrong sometimes.

The Run Down:

  • Toy Type: Adult Instruction DVD
  • Length: 50 minutes (and still too long)
  • Extras: Zen Pussy – A Meditation on Eleven Vulvas, A masturbation memoir from Scarlot Harlot, Director sound track with Annie Sprinkle and film scholar Linda Williams, Ph.D.
  • Price: $39.99
  • Pros: A few good tips
  • Cons: Horrible music and video quality (especially for the price); Humor (if it’s supposed to be humor) does not appeal to me; Very spiritual “new age”-y
  • Overall Rating: 1/5
  • Recommended: No, just no

The first thing that I hated about the DVD as soon as it started is the weird annoying music.  Through-out the entire video there is weird buzzy, maybe meditation music playing.  To me it sounds like music from a very bad Sci-Fi movie.  I thought perhaps the music would stop, especially during the talking, but it doesn’t.  It really interferes with the whole thing and it was really the most un-enjoyable part of the movie.  Also, I find Annie Sprinkle’s voice to be very annoying.  I don’t think everyone would, but for me it is very difficult to listen to her.  Oh, and don’t expect high quality video on this DVD.  I’m sure it was high tech when it was shot (looks like in the 70s) but it’s very poor quality with bad animation in parts.  Here’s a few screen captures from the video:

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Before i get into the rest of the review I want to point out that I am not spiritual at all and don’t meditate or anything like that, so I think that really affects my view on this DVD and how I perceived it.  Now to the actual content.  To start off, Annie introduces the transformation facilitators, because this video is suppose to help you go through a transformation supposedly.  All of the facilitators are a bit awkward and only one or two of them are particularly attractive (to me at least).

I’m going to start with what I considered really weird or bad tips, which for me was most of the video.  It starts off talking about rubbing sea-weed and mud all over your body as well as giving yourself a facial.  The facial I can agree to, but the mud and sea-weed seem a little odd.  Next it says to do your make up and to use a thick coat of base.  She says that too much make up is never enough.  As someone that doesn’t wear make up other than lip gloss, I think this is just dumb, especially for a Goddess persona.  A Goddess, in my opinion, should be flawless without make up, or at least feel that way.  The next weird thing that really threw me off was she said you haven’t lived until you’ve painted your body.  She said you could use various types of paint or even use your own menstrual blood and there was an example.  I couldn’t tell if it was real blood or not, but I did not find it enjoyable to watch either way.

Next she talks about how you should get a few tattoos.  Now, I don’t have anything against tattoos, but just the idea that they are something I would need to be a Slut or a Goddess I didn’t like.  Along with the tattoo line she says that body piercings make you “holier”.  Bad puns are bad.  After that she says to dance it out and there’s a long segment of weird ass dancing to no music, just the background music to the DVD.  After that there was a very strange breathing technique.  I feel like this technique would lead to hyperventilating and passing out.  She also mentions that breathing with a group of friends can lead to breath orgasms and that deep breathing is the path to waking up and freedom.  They also showed some yoga and say to just follow along but it was super advanced.

The last thing that I really didn’t like was the sex positions they showed.  They weren’t all that special or new and at one point there was a girl sitting in the back ground eatting corn.  That was the biggest WTF moment of the video.  She also shows her five minute orgasm, or mega-gasm, which I have a hard time believing.  For that they showed a timer in one corner and a charge of “orgasm energy” as time went on.  To me it just seemed really fake.  She also said here that “orgasms are the path to truth and the meaning of life”.  Major eye roll moment.

There were a few tips that I agreed with and liked.  The first was she said to wear high heels.  I think for both Sluts and Goddess this is an important part of the wardrobe.  Heels can be very flattering on anyone.  She also talked about how to pick your Slut or Goddess name.  The names she threw out amused me, except for “Rainbow Buffalo Cornwoman” that one made me stop and go “WTF?!”.  Annie also goes on to say to make your own porn, which can be fun.  But she said “go ahead and show some pink and be sure to get paid” and I didn’t really know how to take that.  They show some exercises to increase sexual energy which I did like, except for the trippy background, that kind of made my head hurt.  To me this seemed like erotic yoga, but not nearly as advanced as earlier.  They do have horrible (but kind of funny) names such as “Vag-a-lift”.  It’s also narrated like bad porn (“Oh don’t stop!”).

One other big thing I liked was she talked about getting to know your pussy because your “pussy is your friend”.  She said to view, smell, and taste your pussy.  She did also say to use a speculum and give yourself an exam, which I thought was a bit much.  Next she talked about locating the “goddess spot” which is the g-spot, as well as safe sex practices such as latex gloves and plastic wrap.  She didn’t mention condoms at all, but she never talked about sex with a penis.

The two major extras on the DVD are the Zen Pussy and Masturbation Memoirs.   The Zen Pussy is about 12 minutes of video of pussies.  Just sitting there hanging out, maybe wiggling a bit with some kegels and some moaning.  I found this to be a bit boring, odd, and pointless.  The Masturbation Memoirs I found to be a bit more interesting.  Scarlett Harlot gave her views on masturbation.  It was only five minutes though, I think I would have enjoyed more of this and less of the Zen Pussy.  I did think it was kind of amusing that she said masturbation is patriotic.

Overall, I found How To Be A Sex Goddess in 101 Easy Steps to be just fucking weird.  Maybe it’s because I’m not just into “new age” or spirituality, but this DVD was just bizarre.  I also found any sexual scenes to be sorta lame and fake.  I did give it one point because it did have a few interesting ideas, but for the most part I thought it was horrible and did not mesh with my sense of humor.  I also could not tell through-out the entire thing if it was supposed to be serious or more of a joke.  Also for the price, this should be revamped with better video.  I wouldn’t pay $40 for a video from the 70s.

To save 15% on your order at Eden Fantasys, use coupon code
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product picture
DVD by Erospirit
Stars: Barbara Carrellas, Chris-teen, Diviana Ingravallo, Donna Theresa
Director: Annie Sprinkle
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

*This review was sponsored by Eden Fantasys, the product was sent to me free of charge to provide my honest opinion with no form of compensation*

5 comments to Review: How To Be A Sex Goddess in 101 Easy Steps

  • the bedroom blogger

    Oh my…I kinda wanna watch this…in the way that I want to watch really bad horror movies. That slideshow of stills had me rolling. Also, “at one point there was a girl sitting in the back ground eating corn” was possibly my favorite line from this review.

  • Misfit Momma aka Missy

    I was actually interested in this until I saw your screen captures. Thanks for those! This looks like the type of film that had me turned off of porn for so long.

  • CLP

    My goodness. This is pretty amazing. I am not sure if those screencaps are badly awesome or awesomely bad.
    My favorite line: ‘she said “go ahead and show some pink and be sure to get paid” and I didn’t really know how to take that.’ Its like motherly advice from the crazy cat lady at the busstop.

  • Wow… just wow… The screencaps are absolutely horrifying.. O.o The third one had me wanting to run away from the computer screaming. What made these people think any of this would be a good idea? How is anyone supposed to take any of it seriously? I mean, I’m spiritual, and this is kind of an insult.

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