Position of the Week #23: 10 Halloween Positions

I was curious, if there was such a thing.  That’s a silly thought though. Of course there is!  AskMen has a Top 10:  Halloween Sex Positions.  They’re mostly funny, but you can try them if you dare, muahahaha.  They had no spiffy pictures, so here are my favorites that they listed, those most are them are pretty hillarious:

“No.7 The Scarecrow

Aside from Michael Hutchence, a little bondage never (seriously) hurt anyone, and this sex position is no different. One partner is strapped to a cross-brace and must act as if they have no skeletal system; the other partner gets to enjoy the benefits of having someone strapped to a cross-brace in front of them. That involves groping, teasing, prodding, and just about anything else you want, just as soon as you get those cumbersome overalls unhooked. Best of all, when you are done, there’s all that straw to help clean up.”

“No.6 Bobbing For Boobies

This sex position is pretty self-explanatory: Fill up a bathtub with two or more breasts, stick your hands behind your back, and bob your head in until you catch yourself an endorphin rush.”

“No.4 Night Of The F*cking Dead

Squirming, convulsing and moaning isn’t something that only happens at Jack in the Box — case in point: “Night of the F*cking Dead.” In this ingenious brain-dead Halloween sex position, partners start off in a standard missionary position, but once the male has comfortably entered the female, that’s when things really get dumb — er, fun. Specifically, neither partner is allowed to use their arms or legs to support themselves during intercourse, leaving both sex-starved individuals to be grunting, struggling and shaking in order to get off.”

That’s not all of them, but be sure to head over to AskMen to read all 10.  Are you brave enough to try some of these this Halloween?

Position of the Week #22: The Cross

Yey for fun number line ups! Number 22 is on the 22nd.  That amuses me!  Anyways…

This week’s position is another cute one from SoFeminine.co.uk.  It’s called The Cross.

The Cross

The Cross

For this position, the receiving partner lies on their back with one leg extended and the other bent up (this is kind of the reverse from last weeks position).  The giving partner sits down with the extended leg between his and holds the bend leg under their arm.  The giver has one hand to explore and brace themselves with and can passionately squeeze and caress the leg under his arm and use that for a bit of support as well.

Position of the Week #21: Thigh Master

Oh Internet, the things I find on you sometimes.  I was wandering around looking for positions and came across “15 Sex Positions You need to Try Before The Rapture”.  This was posted over a year ago, due to one of the other “end of the world” scares, but with December fasting coming upon us, I figure it’s fitting.  This position is called Thigh Master.

Thigh Master

 I’ve seen variations of this position before, and I thought I had posted one, but I didn’t see it.  For this, the giving partner lies back with one leg stretched out and the other bent.  The receiving partner straddles the giver sideways, back to your partners face and the bent leg between yours.  You can use your partners knee for support as you rock back and forth and if you position it just right, it can probably provide some great friction for your clit (if you are female obviously).  Be sure to have a bottom of lube handy in case you have a rather furry partner though.

Position of the Week #20: The Fantastic Rocking Horse

I stumbled across an article for 100 Karma Sutra sex positions which had the cutest cartoons to show the positions.   One of the first ones is The Fantastic Rocking Horse.

the fantastic rocking horse

The Fantastic Rocking Horse

This position is much like other “girl-on-top” positions with one little twist.  The giving partner sits cross-legged and leans back to support his or herself with their arms.  The receiving partner knees over their partner’s lap and lowers his or herself down.  This allows the receiving partner to determine the speed and depth of penetration.

If the giving partner has trouble holding themselves up, they can always lean against a wall or piece of furniture.  This also allows their hands to wander or just help their partner move.  This position really allows for a lot of physical contact and kissing action.

Position of the Week #19: The Spider Web

This week’s position comes from Cosmo’s suggestions for morning sex.  This one is called The Spider Web.

For this position, both partners should start by laying on their sides facing each other, like when you first wake up if you sleep together.  The receiving partner should lift their top leg and allow the giving partner to slide their top leg between and slowly guide themselves in.  This can allow for a deeper feeling of penetration, as well as closeness as you hold on to each other and press your upper bodies against one another.  For a female receiver, it should also allow extra friction on your clit.  This position can stay tame and gentle for a sleepy morning, or take it up a notch for those energetic morning people.

Position of the Week #18: A Hallmark Moment

Today is another one from the Try Me Condom Gift set, “A Hallmark Moment”.

a hallmark moment

The name is cheesy, but the position is a bit cheesy and sappy, so I think it’s fitting.  It’s essentially a sitting position that allows you and your partner to look longingly into each others eyes while slowing making love.  This isn’t really my style (i’m not really a sweet romantic type), but I’m sure some of you are.  This position probably works best if the giving partner has something to lean back against for support, such as the head of the bed.  The giver should sit down and lean back and the receiving partner can then sit down in their lap.  From here, you will need a bit of scooting to get everything in place.  A Hallmark Moment will not be an intense, hard thrusting position, it’s best suited for gentle rocking, but it leaves all four hands free to wander, explore, and caress.

 

Position of the Week #17: Squeeze-him-tight

This week’s position is a little challenging, but it also could be a lot of fun!  It comes from GoodToKnow.co.uk, the Squeeze-him-tight.

This position works great for a spur of the moment quickie, as it would take quite a bit of work to keep it going for long.  The receiving partner sits back on a surface (it can be something larger than the small stool shown) and wraps their legs around the giving partner.  This also allows the receiver to help control the motion and pace.  The receiver can also wrap their arms around their partner for support.

It could be really great for spur of the moment in a tight spot, but don’t count on sustaining this position for too long.

Position of the Week #16: The Humpback Whale

This week’s position is another position from the Try Me Condom Gift Set.  This one I saved because of the ridiculous name:  The Humpback Whale

the humpback whale

The Humpback Whale

The Humpback Whale seems to be much like doggy style with the addition of press against your partner and cupping their breasts.  This could be difficult if partners heights are too different, so you may need to alter it and play around with it until you get it just right.  Generally my partners have been able to get this close, due to large bellies and a large bottom on my part.  Maybe one day I will find a partner that this will work with.

Position of the Week #15: Sultry Saddle

Today’s position I stumbled upon on Good To Know’s sex and relationships section.  In some way’s it’s much like The Scissors position I showed you guys a few weeks ago.  This one looks like it could be a lot of fun as well, now to find a willing victim… err… I mean partner… to try it out with!

The Sultry Saddle

 There are no instructions included on the website, but from the image it looks like it could be obtained through a similar method as any girl on top position.  Have the giving partner lay on his or her back and the receiver straddles their leg. You can slowly scoot up into position and get it just right.  This appeals to me because you can support yourself by sitting back on your partner’s thigh.  I would be sure to be careful if your partner has a bad leg or hip when trying this though.  I definitely think you can hit some different angles than your normal cowgirl position.

Position of the Week #14: The Bird Feeder

This weeks position comes from the pack of Try Me Condoms I reviewed.  I’ve since gotten rid of them all, but I had taken some pictures of some of the more amusing positions and just stumbled back across them.  The position for this week is “The Bird Feeder”.

position of the week 14 the bird feeder

The Bird Feeder appears to be an interesting oral sex position.  It shows the oral sex being performed on a female, but I’m sure a male could be substituted as well.  The best way I can think to get into this position is to use some sort of chair or position aid to prop the receiver up on.  Start by having the receiver lay down on their back.  If you have a prop, scoot yourself up and prop your legs up on it and your partner can help from there.  If you don’t have a prop, from the laying down position have them come between your legs and lift you up.  Without the prop though, they will have to be sure to fully support your lower back and it may put a lot of strain on both partners and can probably not be maintained for long, unless you are both gymnasts.

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