Why I Hate Cosmo: Watch This, Not That With Him

So, I’ve shown some positions from my Cosmo magazine and from cosmo.com and whatnot, why would I hate it?  Well my relationship with Cosmo is very much love/hate.  Cosmo has helped me to become more confident in myself and they do occasionally have some good tips.  Otherwise, it’s just pretty damn funny to read I think.

That is until I come across an article that pisses me off beyond believe.  The September issue came with a little section titled “101 Things About Men” so naturally I have to read through it.  Nothing really sticks out or bugs me (they do have a nice recipe for hot wings!) until I get to one of the last articles, titled “Watch This, Not That With Him”, it doesn’t even take up a full page.

It’s a nice little guide listing what you should and shouldn’t watch with your boyfriend.  I thought it’d be interesting so I read the first one:

You should watch Man vs. Wild with your boyfriend because:

“Seeing the host gut a camel is badass, but hearing a girl whine about how disgusting it is ruins it.”                 –  Matt, 23

Matt 23 is a little bit of a jerk, not all girls will whine about it, but either way, it’s not something I want to watch.  But moving on…

You should watch Cash Cab with your boyfriend because:

“Since you can’t watch without guessing the answers, it’s a competitive, flirty date from the comfort of my couch.” – Alex, 24

Aww… that’s so cute!  I love Cash Cab (and I mean don’t you think Ben Bailey is pretty hot too?), so yeah I do agree with Alex 24.

You should watch 30 Rock with your boyfriend because:

“Liz Lemon does little things that remind me of my girlfriend, so it’s nice to have her there by my side.”     – Greg, 32

Okay, Greg 32 seems like he’s trying a little hard, but not a bad answer.

You should watch The Simpsons with your boyfriend because:

“It’s fun to watch it together, since a woman who gets the show’s cultural references is a huge turn-on to me.” – Kris, 32

At this point I’m a little concerned, where did all the 30 year old dudes come from?  I thought Cosmo was for people in they’re 20s, no offense, but it just seems to have taken a big leap.  But in references to Kris 32, he doesn’t want a dumb girl, but really, you don’t have to know that much pop culture to get The Simpsons, come on now.

This is where the article starts to turn into complete and udder stereotypical bullshit.  As a girl that is quiet the opposite of most female stereotypes, this pisses me off quiet a lot…

You shouldn’t watch MythBusters with your boyfriend because:

“Girls like to talk during TV, and if she blabs during MythBusters, I’d miss half the cool stuff tat’s being explained.”  – Tim, 23

Woah woah woah there Tim 23, I do not ‘blab’ and I most certianly not ‘blab’ through MythBuster.  I’m an Engineer so I think the stuff they’re doing is pretty damn cool too, plus I can probably understand it better than you anyways.  So please don’t bug me to explain it to you while we’re watching when you can’t follow it.  Thanks.

You shouldn’t watch South Park with your boyfriend because:

“A lot of the humor is raunchy.  I’d rather not have her see me laugh hysterically at the same vomit joke… 20 time.”  – Michael, 24

Girls aren’t allowed to like raunchy humor?  That’s news to me.  I have a dirtier mind than most of the guys I know.  Now I don’t watch South Park often, but I do like it.  Sometimes it gets a little silly, but I will not think you’re a complete idiot for laughing at their jokes.  However, Michael 24, I will think you are a complete idiot for thinking girls can’t enjoy South Park.

You should watch Criminal Minds with your boyfriend because:

“I know a girl is going to cringe or turn away at some point, which inevitably leads to a make-out session.”   – John, 31

Maybe it’s just me… but I don’t think 31-year-old men should talk about their “make-out sessions.”  But then again, I don’t like the term making out.  Either way, John 31’s answer is lame, I might cringe a bit, but I’m not going to turn away from it.  Anyways…

You shouldn’t watch Family Guy with your boyfriend because:

“My friends and I think this is the funniest show, so I want to be able to text them about the ridiculous stuff that happens.”  – Josh, 30

First of all, Josh 30, I’m a little sad that you think that Family Guy is the funniest show.  It’s ok, but not the funniest by far.  And as far as being able to text you’re friends while watching, what the fuck does that have to do with watching it with your girlfriend?  The two are completely unrelated.  Hope you don’t mind though while I watch it that I text my friends and tell them how dumb you are.

What I wonder though, is are most of the people doing these type of interviews for Cosmo women?  How do they put up with listen to and recording this crap men say?  How do the female writers and editors put up with it and think it’s okay to publish it?  I know I couldn’t do it.

Overall, this was a horrible section.  I don’t know where they got these guys from to give these quotes, but I sure hope to god I never meet them.  It just reaffirms how much sexism and how many stereotypes there still is out there.

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